How to Help Your Child Cope with Rejection and What to Say to Make Them Feel Better
As a grown up, rejections in our workplace or relationships are pretty hard to and deal with though we know by now thatthey are inevitable and morethan often rear their ugly heads in front of us. Ourmaturity, network of friends and experience helps us to cope with them.But just imagine how devastating rejection can be for achild who has been rejected ina selection for a choir, ballet group, or basketball team try outs.It hits their confidence and ego and as a grown-up we have to help them cope with it using our own experienceand wisdom so that they are stronger for the harsh life ahead. Here’s how you can help your child cope with rejection.
1Help your child calm down their nerves.
Getting rid of negative emotions is extremely important when it concerns children. Many believe that diverting the kid’s attention to physical sensation work miracles to d dilute their disappointments. You can calm down the child first by making them hold an ice cube in their hands and giving them soothing remarks like they did their best. Do not overreact yourself. Ask them to take deep belly breaths.
What to say: “It’s OK, honey, nothing bad happened. We both know you tried hard.”
2Divert their attention
Divert the child’s attention from the disappointments and make them motivated for many other chances lying ahead. If the child is relaxed and calm, they will themselves start to think about where they went wrong and they will self-correct themselves which will turn out fantastic development. In this way a child isn’t faltered by mistakes but learns from them to become more resilient later. Tell them that they are just in the beginning of the race called life and there would be innumerable chances where they could prove their worth and shine.
3Help them analyse the situation.
After your child has calmed down ask them calmly what has happened and analyse the problem from theirperspective. Do not belittle their problems. Instead teach them failure is not personal. You can also contact the school or the day care centre to get a clearer picture and aske them for suggestions and guidance on how to manage the situation. If you are rational, then the kid can also concentrate on the objectivity of the problem not the emotional aspect of it.
4What to say
Speak to them and help them realize why the outcomes may have been so. Perhaps there were other factors involved and it had nothing to do with the child’s abilities.
“What happened? OK and what happened after that? Why do you think you didn’t get on the team?”